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Ms A 75v

[75v°] assist at the whole ceremony. I will bring him in at the end and lead him quietly to the grille where Thérèse will receive his blessing.”

Ah! I recognized here the thoughtfulness of my dear Céline, and it’s really true that “love never sees anything as [5] impossible, for it believes everything is possible and everything is permitted.” Human prudence, on the other hand, trembles at each step and doesn’t dare to set down its foot, so to speak, and so God willed to try me and He made use of it as a docile instrument. On the day of my wedding I was really an orphan, no longer having a Father on this earth and being able to look [10] to heaven with confidence, saying in all truth: “Our Father who art in Heaven…”

I should have spoken to you about the retreat preceding my Profession, dear Mother, before speaking about the trial I have mentioned; it was far from bringing me any consolations since the most absolute aridity and almost total abandonment were my lot. Jesus was sleeping as usual in my little [15] boat; ah! I see very well how rarely souls allow Him to sleep peacefully within them. Jesus is so fatigued with always having to take the initiative and to attend to others that He hastens to take advantage of the repose I offer to Him. He will undoubtedly awaken before my great eternal retreat, but instead of being troubled about it this only gives me extreme pleasure.

[20] Really, I am far from being a saint, and what I have just said is proof of this; instead of rejoicing, for example, at my aridity, I should attribute it to my little fervor and lack of fidelity; I should be desolate for having slept (for seven years) during my hours of prayer and my thanksgivings after Holy Communion; well, I am not desolate. I remember that little children are as pleasing to their parents when they are asleep as well as when they are wide awake; I remember, too, that when they perform operations, doctors


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